The adventures of Harry Potter, Hermione Granger
by princessdanica
Summary: Harry and Hermione join Sparkle, Captain Dman and Staceman for an adventure in Australia.


Disclaimer: I don't Harry Potter.

Note: For all of you that aren't Australian, Taronga Zoo is a zoo in Sydney.

Penrith is a suburb of Sydney, the Nepean Bridge is a bridge there.

Lismore is small city in Northern NSW.

Kirribilli House is the Prime Minister's residence in Sydney.

John Howard is Prime Minister of Australia.

Harry Potter looked furtively around the Gryffindor Common Room. Beside him Hermione Granger did the same. They were on a mission. A mission to escape from Hogwarts and visit their friends Captain Dman the Rescueman, Staceman the Spaceman and Sparkle Tangerine in Australia.

Harry signalled Hermione and they both touched the portkey beside them. They felt a pull from behind their navels and disappeared in a blue and white flash of light.

A grin lit up Captain Dman the Rescueman's face as she surveyed the Nepean Bridge. Beside her Staceman the Spaceman looked around with a similar expression of glee. Sparkle Tangerine was inspecting the area, weighing up the pros and cons of the place. Commando Man was behind them honking his horn whenever an attractive vehicle drove past.

"Damn home dog," Captain Dman exclaimed. "Those gangstas and homies are gonna wish they wish were never born. You get my drift biatch?" she said to Staceman. Staceman nodded,

"Nigger you were so right about practicing in ghetto Lismore. They're gonna be like what? And we'll be like later, on!" they both started to laugh.   
"Yay for Scooby Doo," Dman said.

A brilliant flash of light erupted beside them and Harry Potter and Hermione Granger appeared beside them.

Staceman and Dman screamed in excitement. "Way Cool!" Sparkle said.

Staceman the Spaceman, Captain Dman, Sparkle Tangerine, Harry and Hermione spent the rest of the day driving around Penrith in Commando Man, outlining plans for winning the Gangsta and Homie Drag Race Cup the next day. Whenever she got bored Captain Dman amused the others with her attempt at playing guitar, using the one she'd stolen off her friend Jman the Man's man. She was truly horrible. Staceman the Spaceman also tried and was a bit more successful then Captain Dman.

"We should visit Marigold the Strong (Thanx Staceman u saved my story!)," Captain Dman exclaimed triumphantly. Staceman nodded emphatically.

Captain Dman, Staceman and Hermione changed into hooker clothes while Sparkle drove Commando Man to Taronga Zoo. He was still hooking at the other cars and being a honky bastard. Sparkle set him straight while they drove under the Harbour.

"What's with the outifts?" Harry asked, looking down at the pimp outift he'd been forced into.

"It's a disguise," Captain Dman told him.

"No one suspects the hookers," Staceman muttered darkly.

When they got to the other sideof the Harbour, they left Commando Man parked in an inconspicuous place with Sparkle Tangerine making sure he remained stealth.

They hopped into a cable car and changed into their stealth clothes, black shirts, beanies and sunglasses with cameo short shorts. Harry had to wear short shorts too.

They jumped out over the hippo enclosure and army rolled into some long grass.

They spent the day hanging out with Marigold (A hippo). Whenever they got too hot they frolicked naked in the hippo pool. They were so stealth that none of the people visiting Taronga noticed the teenagers in the hippo enclosure.

It was midnight when they bid Marigold farewell. They used the same method they'd came in by to get out.

Captain Dman, Harry and Hermione were telling Sparkle all about their day while they were driving under the Harbour. Staceman was showering. They were almost back at shore when they were confronted by a horrifying sight. It rendered them all non verbal. "AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"they screamed in repulsion.

Staceman came running out naked and dripping to find out what the commotion was. She found them sitting, staring blankly ahead. They were pale and Sparkle had turned white.

"What happened?" gasped Staceman, scared for her friends.

"Great white sharks," muttered Sparkle blankly. Staceman raised an eyebrow.

"Having shark sex," Captain Dman said and Staceman shuddered, how abhorrent!

Sparkle, Captain Dman, Hermione and Harry didn't snap out of their daze until they'd reached their hiding spot. By then Staceman had dried off, dressed and shoved Captain Dman into the shower.

The next morning Captain Dman and Staceman ate noodles and Creaming Soda for breakfast. Sparkle, Hermione and Harry just shook their heads knowingly.  
"What?" Staceman objected. "It's the breakfast of Champions." Captain Dman nodded in agreement.

At the Nepean Bridge they inspected Commando Man to make sure he was ready to race. Staceman hit a button on their remote and 10 cylinders of Nox appeared. She hit another and the spoiler Jman had insisted they add, popped up. Captain Dman checked their rocket blasters and gave Staceman the thumbs up.

They admired their handiwork for a moment. "Mmmmm hair dryer," Staceman said and Captain Dman nodded.  
"Mmmmm shorts," she replied and Staceman chuckled. Harry and Hermione just ignored their strangeness.

While Staceman lined up Commando Man Captain Dman started to spontaneously wee over the bull horn. Staceman joined in and they had everyone staring at them. "Ugh, weeee," they screamed and then danced.

Suddenly Staceman saw something that stopped her dead in her spontaneous weeing.   
"Monkey shorts!" She screeched and Dman gaped.

Captain Dman, Stacema Harry and Hermione were ready to race. At the finish line was Sparkle Tangerine and her PSP's Jman and Lenny. There was also Kassman, holding tight to her crazy prices imitation lion, Lanaman with her Charlie and Snoop Doggy Dog. Super Charlotteman the Lightning Speedman, Sarahman the Hitman, Lauraman the Ballman, The Coopiemonster, Tashman the fryman, Magsman the crazyman, Alman the Horseman and Tara were also there.

"Yo dogs start your engines," said the starter. Captain Dman started Commando Man and grinned at the others.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaand Race!" he screamed and Dman slammed her foot on Commando Man's accelerator. They shot off, and smoke poured out Commando Man's phat ass.

Throughout the race they maintained their lead. Staceman controlled their rocket boosters and Nox while Captain Dman steered and used the breaks and accelerator. Harry and Hermione were moral support.

They won the race! Staceman and Captain Dman made their victory handshake/gesture.

Then danced naked on the roof of Commando Man while their adoring fans cheered. On the roof with them were Lanaman's Charlie, Jman's guitar, Coopiemonster's Koopa and Kassman's lion, which was being sexually abused by Snoop Doggy Dog.

After the race Captain Dman and Staceman hijacked Donald Trump's yacht because he has a funny toupee and threw a huge victory party. All their friends were there as well as people that loved them and that they'd rescued. Like Matt and Emily, Moses, who was still cackling evilly, Lois and Clark, Dumbledore in purple boxers this time and the little girl who'd lost her dog, she'd bought the booze, much to the Coopiemonster's chagrin.

Harry and Hermione were enjoying a very different atmosphere to the one they experienced. This party beat anyone that Fred and George had ever thrown

It was awesome fun. They all went skinny dipping! They were rendered non verbal for a while when they saw the sharks playing find the salami again. But they started boozing and got over it. They TP'd Kirribilli House and laughed when John Howard chased them around, they kept threatening to shave his eyebrows. They also ripped down the big coat hanger on the Harbour Bridge.

It was a very successful HOOTNANNY.

No animals were hurt or sexually abused in the making of this story.


End file.
